Surrender

When I was pregnant, I needed a mantra to anchor me. I craved a word that would guide me through the journey and on into motherhood. Surrender absolutely resonated with me. Going into labor, I had an idea of what I wanted to happen but I relied on my word, along with my fabulous birthing team, to carry me. I knew that all along the way, there would be variables that were simply out of my control. Needless to say daughter's birth didn't go exactly as planned (what does?) but I let go and the entire experience was empowering. Surrender. 

The thing is, surrendering doesn't come easy to me. By nature, I am stubborn. I am a fighter and optimistic to a fault, especially if I feel that there is even the tiniest thing I can do. I will contemplate and scheme and work with even the smallest glimmer of hope. Sometimes, this works in my favor. But other times, not so much. My work is to surrender. When living seems like a constant struggle upstream, I am learning to wave my white flag and surrender rather than resist. Slowly yet surely, I am learning to let go and step into the flow. 

I surrender to the sleep gods that my baby is going to blow by an afternoon nap (often), there is only so much I can do. I surrender to the reality that my baby is way more interested in eating a book than listening to one. Yum. I surrender to the fact that I can't make it to weekly yoga classes and instead practice after bedtime in our living room completely surrounded by toys. Surrounding isn't about being defeated. It's about embracing what is. This is a choice that I make and it allows me to focus on what I can do rather than all that I cannot. I choose to surrender and dance in the sweet magic of the present moment. 

What word helps guide you?